Sunday, March 4, 2018

Dating sucks in a politically polarized America

I'm a traveler not a dater
Dating sucks. At least as far as I'm concerned. If there's one thing my most recent ex and I agreed on it was not liking the dating game. We weren't daters. We were stickers. We met one another, liked one another, and we stuck it out (twice). I'm not sure if it's a matter of my not having the patience, or the mindset, or the cash (yeah, I'm a writer don't forget...sometimes the lady has to pay. At least in the old days). Whatever the reason, I just don't like it.

Dating sites

So yeah, I've been on some of the dating sites, and they suck too because it's the same people on the same sites, looking at the same faces with a different digital background. All its good for is running into old "friends" or "flings" you might have had a while back. You send a few get reacquainted notes to one another (because she knows that you know that she knows you're looking at one another) and sort of shy away after that because the elephant in the room is screaming the obvious: "You're fucking middle-aged and all alone. Nice going!"

The dating pool

It's no secret that I'm back to bachelorhood  at the ripe old age of 53 and have been for a while now. I've dipped my arthritic big toe into the dating pool just a tad to see what's out there. I think in the six months since I got the official Hit-the-Road-Jack, I've gone on maybe two dates. Three perhaps. Nice girls, good times, safe and friendly experiences in all ways imaginable. I guess I could try harder and go on more dates, but dating ain't what it used to be even eight or nine years ago, back when I was still sewing my post-pubescent oats, so to speak.

Dating is political now

The world has changed a lot since 2008. We've become so politically polarized that we are on the verge of a second civil war. And I don't jest when I say that. You've got the right on one side and the very far left in the other, and individualists (Independent perhaps verging on Libertarianism) need not apply. I read some of the profile write-ups on the dating sites that belong to attractive successful women who are about my age, and I think, Oh there's a possibility. Then, inevitably, there will be something about her being liberal and "if you're conservative or for Trump don't even attempt to contact me."

Dating the individualist

Like I said, I'm an individualist. I can't be defined by any one political party. I'm a proud gun owner and an advocate for the 2nd Amendment, but I don't belong to the NRA nor will I ever, and this has nothing to do with those terrible school shootings (which I believe is a product of mental illness...guns don't just pick themselves up and shoot people). I believe in Jesus, but I rarely go to church (I'm lazy). In terms of politics, I prefer conservative candidates over liberal ones because I believe in the smallest government possible and minimal regulation. However, I'm entirely for saving the planet, saving the whales, and the air, and the free green spaces we all enjoy so much. The mainstream media is hard left. Don't deny it. I'm a pro-lifer who believes a woman has the right to choose what she wants for herself. I'm a free market capitalist who hates the idea of the welfare state and socialism. Yet, sometimes, people who are down and out need a helping hand. It's all about common sense, people. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

Common sense dating    

That's the problem with the dating world now. Common sense doesn't come into play. What if you find someone you genuinely get along with? You go on a couple dates and then suddenly politics comes up and she begins to suspect you voted for Trump when she's a die hard HRC supporter. I guarantee you it's not only, Date Over, but any hope for a relationship is over too. Good God, consider yourself lucky if she doesn't scream.

I dated a visual artist for a while not all that long ago. She was super smart and super talented and we got along swimmingly as the Brits like to say. She was very liberal, and I was what I am, and it was no problem whatsoever. We might have had a heated political discussion a couple or three times, but it was always "friendly" and respectful. We exercised common sense and maturity. We recognized that people are entitled to their opinion, and identity politics had yet to take hold of our culture the way it has over the past nine years. And let's face it, who is more politically fucking incorrect and proud of it than yours truly? Yes, the Washington Redskins should remain, the Washington Redskins. Period.

No choice but to keep on dating

So I guess, I'll continue to date, because who wants to enter into the final third of one's life all alone? But mark my words, the dating pool for me will be far smaller and shallower being an individualist living in New York State (and an overly polarized USA). Imagine a rugged individualist like Mike Cernovich hooking up with Elizabeth Warren? Or Matt Drudge with Kirsten Gillibrand? Not to be crude, but nowadays that's like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole. Ten years ago, however, those pairings might have worked.

Maybe I should create my own dating site for individuals who fall somewhere in the middle. I'll call it, Common Sense Dating. More than likely, I will have no choice but to date myself.


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  1. You're right: common sense dating no longer exists. Shame, too. I think a lot of men and women are missing out on getting to know some pretty remarkable people. Don't stop trying. My money's on you, Vince.

  2. Thanks Jade...I definitely know of women who won't date men because of their political persuasion that's a sad state of affairs (no pun)...