The Blank Page

A familiar sight...

The difficult thing about being a fiction writer, is having to make it all up, day in and day out. You can borrow on what's happening all around you, if that makes it slightly easier. The crime, the politics (if you're so inclined), the cultural pulse, and so on. But always, you are are still left facing the same blank canvas.

There are mornings when I wake up, having no idea what I'm going to write or how I'm going to write it. All I know is that it, whatever it is, must be written. It's what I do, how I define myself, and and my reason for living.

Some days it's easy. Other days, it truly is like biting on the nail, as someone far more famous than me described it a long, long time ago. But always, I do it. No matter what's happening in my life, no matter my physical or mental condition, no matter the day, no matter the weather. If a nuclear attack were imminent, would I still get the word count in?

As absurd as that question is, the answer is obvious enough for me.
But what about you?

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The 'But(t)' Sentence

The most famous butt in the word, errr...

We don't always accept stuff at face value. Not if we're being smart. We weigh the pros and cons, often carrying on an internal dialogue in our heads. I.E. "Hmmmmm, that chocolate frosted donut sitting all by itself in the case looks delicious. But maybe I should eat something healthier. Like a banana. But I'm not crazy about bananas. I could always have cereal. But all I have is Cheerios and Cheerios suck. Now how about that donut. But my clothes feel like they're shrinking lately..."
And so on, and so forth. BTW: You probably end up eating say half the donut and therefore the calories don't count.

But I digress.

So one of the tricks of the writing trade...fiction that is, but it can be applied to the nonfiction stuff too...is the infamous But Sentence. I say infamous only because it sounds good. The But Sentence is used not only to propel a paragraph along, but also to help flesh out a character and/or situation more fully. It also keeps the reader more subconsciously interested in the text since But Sentences provide a specific rhythm to the story. Think of these little gems as paradiddles for words.

"Kim hated her long dark hair. It was dirty and unkempt. But then, she liked the way it made he blue eyes seem even bluer. Or her eyes weren't blue necessarily, but more like baby blue with a little gray in there. Actually, they were brown. Now she could always cut her hair. But she didn't have the money for a decent beautician. Instead she could cut it herself. However, she could never trust herself with a pair of scissors. Clearly, Kim, had herself one hairy conundrum."

Or something like that. But hey, I'm making this up as a I go.

The point of the illustration is to demonstrate that a But Sentence doesn't always begin with a But, rather, it can begin with an "Or," or an "Instead" or a "However," or even a "Clearly." You get a sense of the back and forth, the teeter-totter rhythm of the graph. You don't even have to care all that much about Kim's problem, but you keep reading because of the rhythm, the back and forthness of it all.The Buts are not only the glue that holds the thing together, it's the drumstick coming down on the snare drum, the bass pedal beating the bass drum.

Practice a few But Sentences on your own today. It's a fun exercise. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself. Of course, I'm one of those geeks who sees Kim Kardashian's big butt on a magazine cover and has to write a story around it. A long story. But then, that's my job.

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Marketing: The Time Suck

I work all the time. In fact, I'm sometimes like the crotchety writer dude played by Jack Nicholson in that movie from the late 1990s, As Good As It Gets. There's a scene in which he tells Helen Hunt, "I work all the time." The point being, Don't bug me. Writers are a funny bunch in that they don't feel right unless they are putting words on a page, good words or bad words.

But lately, I feel like despite the stellar word count, the marketing has been getting in the way. The social media, the interviews, the setting up of promos, the website updates, the newsletters, the compiling of subscribers and, if you're like me, answering as many fan emails as you can possibly answer without your fingers falling off from all the typing. I like my fans. They support me. Therefore, I like to give them the personal treatment.

Now, marketing your work doesn't apply only to your independently published books and stories. It also applies to the traditional stuff. In some cases, I find myself pushing the traditional stuff more, since the publishers just don't have the time or the budget to keep pushing Zandri books, especially the ones I can't even get my own mother to buy.

Some authors rely on Amazon ads or Facebook ads. They pour a bunch of money into the ad budget then create numerous ad-sets and forget about it. But like I intuited in a previous post, these ads can be a money suck if not monitored closely enough. Some authors hire virtual assistants to handle the marketing overflow. I've done this in the past and it never really works out, because you lose control over your messaging when someone else is producing it. Some authors do nothing. Their marketing is boiled down to consistent output. Write, publish, rinse, repeat. There's that rule again. The more books and stories you create, the better chance you have of making a decent monthly and semi-annual profit.

I believe that making more words is the inevitable answer. Writing stories day in and day out without hesitation. But how can one keep up with that kind of grueling pace? you ask. Simple. Some people never miss a day of work in a forty year career, minus vacations of course. Why should a writer be any different? Here's how I do it. I tell myself I'm working for a Hollywood studio, like Fox or Disney. They give me a room and a typewriter, and my boss tells me, "I want a story on my desk by the end of the week, or no paycheck." See, it's not so difficult when you look at it from that POV.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about marketing. But it all comes down to the writing, doesn't it?
Write, publish, rinse, repeat.
Everything else is secondary.

Grab my new novel THE ASHES

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Moneysuck Or Do Facebook Ads Really Work?

Or, simply throwing your money away...

I've created a monster.
No, really...I now have something like 25 novels, novellas, and collections in print (see, I can't even keep track of the specific amount), about half of them with traditional publishers and the other under my own imprint, Bear Media. Like hungry little children, all these books need to be fed, or they will wither and die. That means, advertising. Sure, the best method for selling a book is still word of mouth, but I'm not only hoping to sell a few copies from out of my local indie bookstore, I'm selling to a global audience (Now you see why I do very few book signings). That means paid advertising like Facebook Ads.

I first heard about the possibilities of these little digital devils when I was in Italy sometime around XMas, 2015. I thought, well how hard can this be? I went to You Tube, looked at a tutorial on creating an ad set (the demographics, the budget, the copy, the image...), and I was off. Since then I've spent close to $10K on FB ads, and here's the thing: I'm not sure they work.

That said, I'm certain my books have landed millions, and I mean, millions of impressions. And quite a few clicks which I can only assume translates into sales. Or some sales at least. But for sure, I cannot attribute $10K worth of book sales to $10K worth of ads, which in the end would be a wash anyway. Taken a step further, I am most definitely not making a profit on these ads.

So why then, do I do the illogical thing and keep them going?

The answer lies in the impressions. Product recognition. What I'm hoping for is that when enough people finally recognize the novels I'm advertising, they will warm up to the idea of taking a chance on giving them a go. So I guess I can say, my investment in FB ads is more of a long-term thing. Right now, I'm the bakery that's giving away free cookies and cakes. That's not to say, I'm not learning how to optimize these ads better so that I'm not tossing money away. Numerous courses exist on creating the perfect ad, but they are expensive, and I'm not entirely sure the investment in time would be worth it.

In fact, I've been experimenting with Amazon ads as of late, and I find these effective in terms of dollars and cents (You are charged only per click, as opposed to FB ads where you spend exactly what you pledge per day). To a lesser degree in effectiveness are Book Bub ads.

In the end, I still believe the best way to push your books on the global market is to write more and more of them. Anyone who follows the Vox knows the mantra by now. Write. Publish. Rinse. Repeat.

But you still have to get the word out.

And this means advertising. So, if you're planning on using FB ads, make sure you spend only what you can afford, and experiment with them. Tweak them until the click rate is less than .05 per click. Anything more than that and you'll see your profits being eaten away like a cancer that thrives on healthy cells.

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Out today and available for a very limited time at a special low price: The Chase Baker Trilogy, Volume II

On Publishing: 5 Rules You Should Break

Any author who isn't considering opening up their own publishing imprint in 2017 is living in the fucking dark ages. Pardon the F word. Sure, publish traditionally. Give to Caesar what is Caeser's. But by all means, take control of your career, and take advantage of all the publishing opps out there, including independent publishing platforms like KDP and D2D.

Publish, not once a year, or twice a year, but all the time. Publish non-stop. Don't let any publishing professionals, agent or editor, tell you you're wearing yourself too thin. Don't take their advice at all in fact when it comes to production and the proliferation of your words. Proliferation scares them. It goes against their traditional mindset. It makes them feel like they are losing control.

What scares the writing traditionalists and academy elites the most? A non-traditional writer who sells. A writer who writes what he wants to write, how he wants to write it. A writer who doesn't bend over to the PC lockstep culture. A writer who refuses to be emasculated by the system. I made well over six figures last year publishing the shit I make up, one way or another. I don't have to teach, I don't have to work at another job I hate. I don't have to grow old and irrelevant by punching a clock for some other asshole. Like the song goes, I live life my way.

You can too, but it takes a crap load of work. In mean time, here's a little advice about 5 traditional publishing rules your should break!

1. Don't sign a contract if you don't have to. Here's why: the publisher will break it if it wants to. You however, being an author and therefore powerless in the publisher's mind, will be expected to adhere to the letter of the law. When it comes to publishers, well, they feel they control your fate. So, like a pilot that purposely crashes the plane into a mountainside, they can tank your book if they so choose. Or they can veer away from the mountain, and make it a bestseller. Once you sign away your rights, they control everything. So bring along a parachute and don't sign if you don't have to.

2. If you must sign a contract, make sure there's no bullshit in there about non-compete clauses, or anything that holds onto your rights, paper or electronic, for more than a period of seven years. Anything more than that, and tell them to hit the road. Publish it under your savvy new imprint and control your own destiny.

3. When your publisher tells you to slow down, nod politely, then write and publish as many stories and novels as possible. Write, publish, repeat. Don't listen to their rules. I've worked with a half dozen major, medium, and small publishers over the course of a 20 year career. Almost every editor, editor in chief, and marketing person I've been involved with over that period are now gone baby gone. If nothing else, professional publishing is a revolving door. No one cares about you, no matter how much they pretend. Take care of yourself first, and publish everything. 

4. Don't suck up to get ahead. If you're like me, a hybrid publishing traditionally and independently, you're still going to find yourself in situations (especially in New York City and LA), where you're going to have to suck up to somebody. Be nice, treat others with the same respect you expect, but don't suck up to get ahead. It's humiliating. Remember, this is 2017, not 2007 or 1997 for that matter. You, the writer, have far more control over the publisher than you think. They need you more than the other way around. What a liberating concept. Like I said, be nice, work with them, market the work they produce for you to the best of your ability. But expect them to work for you as well. Your relationship with them should be a working relationship of mutual admiration and respect. Not one of the writer on his knees and the publisher with his pants unzipped. 

5. You don't need to attend every writers conference on the planet. These are expensive events that are usually attended by the old guard elite who are often paid to be there. Sure, conferences can be fun sometimes, especially for the more social butterfly-like writers. But again, it's one of those situations where conferences need you, more than you need them. It's a cash cow suck up fest. So if you enjoy sucking up while emptying your pockets, go for it.

I could add a sixth rule to break here, like do not waste your money on an MFA, but I'll save that for an essay down the road. For now, just write. Write everyday, write with abandon, write for yourself because that's who you are. Carve those precious gems. Write for traditional publishers but proceed with caution. They will do their best to control you. So don't let them. Control your own destiny. Be your own man. Doesn't matter your gender, grow a new set of balls, and establish your own rules and live by them. Thrive by them. 

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Zandri is Wide (Not in the Ass) and a First Quarter Assessment: Notes from a Hybrid...No. Whatever

That's me arm-in-arm this past Sunday with the Noir at the Bar crew NYC

You all would have heard by now that Amazon KDP kicked me out of Select apparently for violating the exclusivity agreement once in 2012, once in 2013, and again in 2014. They couldn't prove that I had violated anything by producing the "warning" emails at my request, but they said it is so and if they say it is so I guess it has to be true.

Ever get the feeling the crucifix will one day be replaced with the Amazon logo? 

It's all for the good though, because like those pesky young adults who won't leave their parent's basement, I had been depending upon Select too much as of late for my indie books, and it was time to leave the nest and go wide. Which I have. I'm everywhere except Google at present, but I'll get there too. I'm only one person, people! Maybe I should hire an assistant. Preferably a hot little brunette. Don't get me started...

Onwards. It's the end f the quarter and I'd like to do an entirely non-scientific assessment of this year thus far in sales and productivity. In other words, I'm not going to bore you with specific numbers, but instead just a general accounting of how it's been going with my traditionally published books, my Amazon Imprint Published Books (namely Thomas & Mercer), and my indie books published under my imprint Bear Media (Bear Thrills, Bear Pulp, etc.)

Okay, so the traditional side of things. The hard-cover of The Corruptions arrived in late January while I await the paperback version of Orchard Grove which came out in hard-cover in January of 2017. Both books seem to be doing well, in paper, audio, and especially e-book. Although I don't have the exact sales figure for the first part of this year, I believe we're looking at around 4-5K in sales, mostly in eBook on the back of a Book Bub, which I was fortunate to acquire (and finance). What I must stress here however, is the importance of authors doing their own marketing since leaving it up to the publisher will usually result in crickets. They just don't have the time. One of the books I have going traditionally at present is stinking up the joint which sucks, because when I was publishing it under Bear Thrills it was doing relatively well. Live and learn.

Amazon Imprint Books (Thomas & Mercer): There's been a lot of changes at the firm as of late, and every single one of the editorial and/or marketing people I started out with in 2012 are gone baby gone. Some good people have taken their place, but while last year at this time I was hitting the overall number 1 spot on the Amazon bestsellers list with The Remains (and all the residual sales that went with it), this year thus far has been kind of a yawn. Sure books like The Remains and the Jack Marconi PI novels continue to carry the bulk of the load (I have a whopping 9 books with the firm), there hasn't been a promo yet that's propelled a single title to the top 10 much less the top 100. But that doesn't mean it won't happen next week. So if I had to guess without looking the numbers up, I'm around the 3-4K sales range there.

Indie Books: In terms of full-length novels, I believe I'm somewhere around 15 now. I'm not sure how I've done it, but I've sold around 7-8K books during the first quarter, not including KDP borrows. So that's something to be proud of. The Ashes, the sequel to The Remains, is doing very well, and considering AP passed on it, saying it's too late for a sequel and therefore a "non-starter," I'm more than pleasantly surprised. Now at the same time, I've also given away more than 10K books so far this quarter and if I had to guess, that's one of the reasons for my success (remember, there are hybrid authors out there who sell way more than me, and more who sell way less, so it's all relative).

So where does this leave me? I'm making a nice living, and slowly, incrementally doing better with each new book published one way or another. Some might say I should pick a method of publishing and stick with it, but truth is, if I were to go back to being traditional exclusively, I'd have to pick up more freelance work, or maybe grab a teaching gig. So that's out of the question because I love my freedom. And I'm not ready to go entirely indie either, because I enjoy my books being in stores and libraries, and I love the trade reviews, and you're just not going to get that with indie (sorry for the run-on).

I'd like to think I'll do more books with AP, but I might be tipping the scales with 9 novels right now, plus When Shadows Come is still in the red in terms of its earning out its advance (Come on guys, let's market the hell out of this one. It was selected as a Suspense Magazine Best Book of 2016 for God's sakes...What's not to like?)

So now I'm wide and thus far I'm selling almost the equivalent of what I would have been making in page reads per day at Select. So that's a good thing. But more marketing will be needed in order to get the word out. That includes Facebook and Amazon Ads.

As for the production end of things, you'll recall in a past post that I have committed myself to writing only fiction this year (that can change), and thus far I'm putting out on average 10K new words per week, plus rewrites. So this is a full-time job to be sure. But what this means is, I not only have a new thriller for a traditional publisher to pick up, I am, at the same time, able to publish a series novel, novella, or short story at least once per month. And what's the best marketing tool for a writer? Proliferation. Or, simply writing more books. Write, publish, rinse, repeat. Word of mouth is a big help too, but you have no control over that. So if you're a writer, turn off the Twitter, and get busy. Get writing.

For links to all my "wide ass" books and all the stores that sell them go to:
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