Thursday, October 15, 2009

Falcon's Dad's Daring Day





Okay, the boy in the silver, flying saucer-shaped balloon had been hiding out in the garage or the attic or somewhere at home after all. Gee, big surprise. Looks like he was afraid his dad might yell at him or worse for tampering with the balloon. Anyway, that's the story. But America loves a "reality" drama and I'm beginning to smell a stinky hoax here that kept America captivated for an entire afternoon. We all assumed that poor little six year old Falcon (no pun) had been carried aloft in storm/twister-chaser dad's cutting edge designed storm-chaser balloon only to lose his precious little life when he dropped a couple thousand feet to the Colorado terra firma. Splat! A still photo was even broadcast on CNN that showed a boy-shaped object falling from the faux-UFO. But all our demented hopes and hungry advertiser's dreams were, well, deflated when the boy was discovered alive and well and hiding out in the attic. You should have seen the look on Wolf Blitzer's face when he first discovered the truth. His closely cropped beard was covered in sweat. And here the master of German disaster had planned on reporting on the Arctic ice that's expected to disappear next summer. You know, something important and worthwhile. Jeeze, can you just picture old Wolf screaming at his producer, demanding to know "Who's running the fucking show here people?" Anyway, I'm sure some slimy New York agent is already putting together the "Falcon and Family" storm chaser reality TV show, which is what Falcon's pretty boy dad wanted in the first place when he staged this hoax. I mean, did you check out how nicely done up his hair was? Wow, how handsome! Did you catch his comment about going weak in the knees? I mean, even if he didn't plan a hoax and simply "lost" his son for the afternoon, this blog still screams, "Hey Falcon's dad, are you an asshole or what?"

3 comments:

  1. I just heard on Fox Radio that they are slated to be on (or have been on already) "Wife Swap" and the little boy, when asked, said he "did it for the show."

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  2. Can you be on wife swap if you don't have a wife?

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  3. You could rent one and perpetrate your own hoax! Maybe you should consider it as part of your book launch/publicity campaign!

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